Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'm Dorktastic!

One day, I came across this hillarious blog post about horrible Olan Mills photographs. They truly are Dorktastic! The last picture of the bunch is even Ree, a gal who writes the blog Confessions Of A Pioneer Woman. Visit Ree, but only after you check out my Dorktastic pictures through the years!

The first picture is of my brother & I in the bluebonnets. From the hairstyle, I believe I'm in the 3rd grade. Ugh. See that cowlick? I STILL fight that darn thing in my bangs! And thanks, Blogger & Picasa, for refusing to post this picture in the proper direction.

If you'll notice in this picture below, I'm wearing the same snazzy shirt as in the bluebonnet photo. Mom seems to have tamed the cowlick. But I've always hated this picture. As a kid, and as an adult still, I fight chapped lips. Carmex has been my constant companion...those who know me will recall that I rarely, if ever, wear lipstick! lips used to get so incredibly chapped that I would have a red, cracked ring around my face, outside of my lips, because I licked them so much. I remember being referred to as "looking like a clown" by a family member who thought they were being helpful in trying to get me to stop licking.

Never worked though. In this picture, I'm curling my lips in, trying to hide the chapped part. And nice mullet, thank you.

Here, the mullet has grown at a bit and I'm going for the messy/unkept looks. I'm with my cousin in this picture, approximately the summer before 4th grade. In front of my grandparent's house. Still fighting the cowlick.
This is 4th grade Heather. Love the cowlick. Hated basketball. Really hated those gray shorts. But apparently, I was #1, so I had that going for me.

This was the end of 4th grade. What do I remember about this picture? For one, I hated that red vest. It was itchy. And I thought the duck with a heart was stupid. And two, I hated the way my Mom did my hair that day. I'm sorry Mom, because....

When it came time to style my hair for GGMa's wedding in March of this year, I did my own hair like this:
OK, so onto 5th grade. I was ALL about having a haircut like Mary Lou Retton. This was 1985 and I was a gymnast, so it only made sense. My mom (who is not pictured below) took me to some oriental lady who didn't speak English & didn't know who in the world Mary Lou Retton was. It turned out OK I guess.

What I like about the picture below is the screaming 80s that drips off this page. Dad's afro was cool, along with his huge glasses. My pink fuzzy sweater vest was only topped by the whilte stirrup pants you can't see. My dad's girlfriend, Alicia, rocked the feathery/poofy hair. My little brother just looked cute. Dang him.

After Mary Lou Retton wasn't so cool anymore, I let my hair grow out. I wanted a PERM! Again, thanks Mom for indulging me...but it's OK to say no sometimes! :)

My hair is sooooo extremely fine, so I ended up with a 'fro, just like Dad! And nice chiclet teeth too.

Fast forward three years...this is 1990 and I'm a freshman in high school. Dad's wedding. I remember I was so very excited to pick this dress out. It had huge, puffy pink tulle sleeves. A fitted bodice (which I had to have let out because I got boobs between dress purchase & wedding). Pink satin pumps dyed to match.

My hairstyle, sad to say, is about the same now as it is here:

And here's my last picture...highschool sometime...probably about 1992. I'm at my grandparent's again with my cousin. The pinch rolled jeans are awesome, as is my nice haircut. The shirt was from Outback Red.. THE coolest place to buy clothes back then. And I'm doing my best to look like I belong in the zip of 90210, 'cause that was the shiz-nit it 1992!

Interesting choices through the years....glad I look like me now! :) tee he he he


cbashara said...

Seriously LOL! Those are some funny pictures, but even funnier commentary!! I'm scared to dig through my old childhood pictures....real scared.

Momo Fali said...

I once had bangs so high, I had to duck when going through doorways.

Valarie said...

Oh my goodness!!! you have got to so participate in Fro' me to you on Thursdays over at

You will love it. :)

Robyn said...

HILARIOUS! Thanks so much for that fun post. =)

Robyn said...

HILARIOUS! Thanks for that fun post. =)

Big Hair Envy said...

I just loved walking down memory lane with you!!! We all have THOSE pictures!!!

Thanks for stopping by my site. I hope you'll come back and visit soon :)

Heather said...

Great pics! I wonder if anyone looks back with fondness on pictures of hairstyles and fashions past.